Pan American Championship

Spoiler alert - we won!

Me, Kim, Amber, Jen

When people ask me how PanAms was, there is the standard response - about how awesome it was to train hard all summer with some great folks and then have a good ride.

But, sometimes I like to tell this somewhat uncouth parable instead.

This story actually begins back in 2008. I was doing my first ever out-of-town race: the Alpenrose Velodrome Challenge in Portland. I actually went back and looked at my old blog, to see if I could find my account of this story from back then, but I must have been too embarrassed to tell the full story.

It was the third day of racing, and it was team sprint time. I was not very good. But what I lacked in athleticism, I made up for in enthusiasm. So, some nice woman agreed to be my partner. I was going to ride position 2. I was using some new drink mix that weekend that gave me very bad gas. As the countdown started, I realized I was going to blow. I came up with a plan: as the beeper went down, I would stand on 5, fart, and then I’d be ready to go. It seemed to make perfect sense.... except it didn't work. As the final high pitch beep went off, my fart continued. Off my partner went. And there I was.... half farting, half trying to balance and start. I tell you, it is impossible to do a standing start whilst farting; you can do one or the other, not both. (Try it if you don't believe me!) It is always hard to tell your partner, “sorry I messed up the start”, but it is next to impossible to tell them “sorry I messed it up because I was busy farting.” I guess this is why I left this part out of my blog. So, Lynn, if you are reading this: I am sorry. The full story finally comes out.

People sometimes say you can learn something from every race. This race would sometimes come up in conversation years later, and it is funny to share, but I really didn't think it would be a learning experience for me ever again.

Fast forward six years. I was lining up at the Pan American Championship Gold medal Final for the Team Pursuit.

Things looked good. I was feeling great. Our team was ready to crush it. I hear the 50 second beep. At about 30 seconds on the clock, I realized I had very bad gas. That moment at Alpenrose flashed in front of me. This time, though, I had some important past experiences to draw on. I immediately stood up, farted, and then resumed the seated position before the 10 second beep. Needless to say, I nailed the start.

We went on to win the Pan American Championships.

This race report can only get more boring from there, so instead, I will share some pictures.